Sigh...

Yes I know it has been forever since I have updated. And I'm sorry to all my blogger friends. Just an update on me, I do have Postual Orthastatic Tachycardia Syndrom (POTS). Basically what happens is when I'm standing all the blood from my body runs down to my feet. My nerves are suppose to squeeze the blood vessels and get the blood to pump back up to my brain. Well my nerves aren't doing that. So I'm not getting blood back to my brain. Thats why my heart has been pumping so fast, its because its trying to get blood back to my brain. It also explains why I'm always real faint...I can't concentrate. The treatment for POTS is Cymbalta. Which I am on right now. I have my good days, and I have my bad days. But at least I have answers now!!!

Ok...on to another topic...Prom is this weekend! WOOHOO! lol I am going with a FRIEND from Amanda Clearcreek that I met in college. I am also going with Allison Mays. Her date was in a bad car wreck and fractured his neck, so she will be going with me! YAY! Candice (My cousin, Jp's sister) is coming up to do our hair. I am soo excited! This week has gone entirely TOOOO slow.

Well anyway...its about time for me to go to school. So I will blog after prom and show pics! I love you all...and keep up the prayers! Thanks!

Prayer is Needed

Prayer is a major need for me right now. Last night was a terrible night for me. I had a terrible panic attack. I haven't had one in about a week and I thought I was gettin so much better. Well definately not.

I'm not any better at all. Usually I try to act like I'm fine around everyone else. Well just to let you know, if I seem better doesn't mean I am I just don't like to always "look" sick. Not my cup of tea if you understand.

All I am asking is everyone keep up the prayers. I have been so worried about myself and its not helping any. My anxiety keeps building and I'm constantly feeling stressed, exhausted, and sick. I feel like I have the flu and I can't do anything to make myself feel better. I just ask you keep me in your prayers.

I go to the cardiologist Thursday in Toledo. I think I am going to talk my dad into not going Thursday and taking Martha Mays and my cousin Christy(Les' older sister). That's who I really want to go, but we'll see what happens.

Keep me in your prayers and I'll let everyone know the results.

2 to a 0

Last night was a long night for me. I stayed up doing my PowerPoint presentation. I was up until 12:30ish then fell asleep. Woke up to finish it and went back to bed around 2:30am. I was ex-haus-ted!

I woke up this morning around 7am to Allison calling me. I wasn't sure why she was but I couldn't get to the phone in time. So I went back to bed. I figured if she really needed me she would call back. Sure enough just about the time I relaxed in bed my house phone rang. I was soo out of it I didn't even want to answer. My dad answered and handed the phone to mom. I couldn't hear anything really, but Mom came in my room looking for something. I opened my eyes and she was getting Allys jewelry and stuff she left here from spending the night. Mom didn't know which ones were mine and which ones were Allys so yet again I had to get up and separate mine form Allisons. So A-G-A-I-N I layed back down. I heard Mom say something about Ally coming and getting her stuff. The next moment I knew I was woke up to Ally knocking on my door. I had to get up and run to Mom (who was in the shower) and ask where her stuff was and opened the door and gave it to her. I was so out of it. I felt like crap and my heart was hurting bad. I finally layed back down for uninterupted sleep...

Until Mom called at 11. Telling me to get up to start my day. I got up and got in the shower. I was drying my hair and signed online to talk to Deda. Then Mom came home. She was talking to me as I was drying my hair. The phone rang. It was my specialist. She has a funeral to attend tomorrow so she cancelled my appointment and plus she wants to do the tilt-table test which wasn't open until the 19th. So I had to reschedule. That means Deda is no longer going to be able to go with me! =(
So if anyone wants to go with me to Toledo next Thursday at 10:30am--let me know!

After that I left with mom and went up to my doctors office. They gave me a note for school explaining my circumstances and now I am skipping 1st period. So the doctor is letting me sleep in another hour until I go and see the specialist. So I left there and went to Taco Bell. After I ate I started to feel better. We then went to go fit me AGAIN for my prom dress.

This is where I get the blog title from 2 to a 0. I went in and Becky got my dress. I tried it on and she was like "Hmm, I'm glad we started your dress out with a 2. Because you're a lot smaller now! You have lost weight! You're not a 2 anymore...you're def. a 0. I was soo frustrated. Here goes all the weight I had gained. I know all of you are prolly thinking "Steph I'd die to be a 0." But let me tell you its not all its cracked up to be. I'm soo frustrated and if I have this illness and have to cut out my Carbohydrates--how much more weight will I lose? Anyway--I have to go back to Maggie & Me and get fitted once again the 21st to make sure I haven't lost anymore weight. So frustrating!

I left there and went to pick up Dallas and I'm really starting to realize how mature he is. I am soo glad I got an awesome brother. I love him to death. And he's been taking care of me all afternoon. He's such a good big little brother! LOL Yeah I said big little because hes bigger than me but younger! =)

Well I'm going to go try to accomplish something. And do some homework. Or something. Maybe just sleep. Keep up praying for me.

BUTT SANDWICH!

So sorry its been awhile. I have to go to Toledo for doctors appointment. If you would like to know why or whatever...call me or ask mom.

Yeah so now to explain the picture....LOL Tiffany and Allison both decided they would keep me company tonight. So...yeah. Tiffany decided to be her normal self and annoy the crap out of me. She kept tickeling me. I warned her and warned her. Well she kept on and I grabbed her and tackled her on my bed. Allison was already laying on her stomach on my bed. I tackled Tiff and put my butt right by her head. And there you have it--a butt sandwich. =) I loooove my best friends! Its been a greaat night. All the girl talk. Its awesome. Well I need to join back in the "girl talk". Later guys! =)